Life as A Nurse~Part 4

The Great Escape

One of the pleasures of working in the ER is taking care of jail check

patients. These are fools who for one reason or another have found

themselves on the wrong side of the law. If they have any medical complaints,

the local police are required to bring them into the ER to be cleared for

booking. I usually don’t ask what they did. I made that mistake once and

it hindered my care of the mud sucking, sleazy creep, rotten to the core

child killer! Did I get my point across? Now, the procedure is always the

same. Inmates or jail check patients are to be in the company of the police

at all times. They are to be handcuffed and shackled if necessary at all

times. There is no procedure I can’t do with the inmate handcuffed to the

side rails. The police  never break this rule, that is until that faithful
day.


Case in Point:


A young African American male and his two home boys had been on a string

of armed robberies. On that particular day, they were caught. As they were

being booked at the local jail, the leader suddenly fell back and had what

appeared to be a full blown grand mal seizure. When it was over, the punk

seemed to be unconscious. The ambulance brought him to the ER for clearance

to book. Now, I don’t tell these kids how to dress. But who in Gods name

ever told these kids that pants five sizes too big was attractive? The kid

stayed handcuffed for the main exam, and the doctor was puzzled as he showed

no regular signs of being post seizure. So, off to cat scan he went, police

and his mommy in tow, who kept saying her boy was a good boy and the police

had made a mistake. I heard the officer tell her as they made their way past

the ambulance doors that her darling son had been caught on video and was

in possession of a sawed off shotgun at the time of his arrest. All this time,

the kid remained in his “unconscious” state. Now, from my understanding, they

had to transfer him to the cat scan table and there was no place to cuff him too,

he appeared to be out of it, so the officer made the fatal decision to leave

him uncuffed. As they were wheeling him back from cat scan and just as they

reached the ambulance doors, this gazelle like kid was wide awake and running.

In fact, the outside ambulance doors didn’t open fast enough for him, so

he went straight through them. Glass everywhere, police yelling for help.

It was utter mayhem. I walked to the now open ambulance doors just in time

to see the baggy pants bad guy fall to his knees. It seems his baggy pants

made it impossible for him to run. The police were not pleased and they didn’t

bring him back. The moral of the story, if your gonna be a bad guy, at least

wear clothes that fit. I have never laughed so hard as I watched this kid’s

pant’s move down his ass and stopped him cold at his knees. He was caught

twice that day! Once at a gun point at the store they were robbing, and again

at a baggy pant knee point, no guns required.
 
To this day, No one who is under arrest is ever let out of handcuffs no

matter what.

You just can’t help yourself.Jail checks are amusing! 

Is this tragic, only in the sense that a 17-year-old punk can steal using

a gun? Is it funny? . Hell yes it is! Only in the ER could you be

so amused and not pay for it!